In my last post, I talked about my plan to avoid picking up my phone for as long as I could the following day. I’m going to be honest, my day without my phone was pretty bad. And of course, I eventually grabbed it and started scrolling.
I’ve noticed something: the unhappier I am, the more I want to scroll. Have you noticed the same pattern?
As I was driving today, I started thinking about the awe of God. For a while now, I’ve felt dry in my spirit, at times more so than others.
I remember looking up at the stars when I was a kid and feeling so much wonder. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost the ability to revel in feeling small. Does that make sense? When I looked up at the stars as a child, I knew, deep in my bones, that there was so much more to God’s creation than me. And that realization gave me a profound sense of reverence.
But as an adult, so many things fight for our attention. Kids need to be fed, work deadlines need to be met, bills need to be paid. Life becomes repetitive and mundane. Honestly, sometimes I’ve felt like a robot going through the motions—especially when my kids were young.
But I’m going to be bold and go to God and tell Him I want more. I want to feel awed by Him. I want to feel it in my chest and in my soul.
I’m not advocating letting emotions be our guide. But in this modern age, in our daily lives and even in our churches, the awe of God simply isn’t nurtured or cultivated.
God, is there any way to get it back? Or am I too old? Are my synapses too fried from scrolling and seeking mindless entertainment that I’ve lost my ability to feel childlike wonder?
I’m going to dare to believe that, even at the ripe old age of fifty, I’m not too far gone. That God is still there, still present, still waiting to fill me back up again.
In the coming days and weeks, I want to take an honest look at what I’m doing that might be severing my connection with God. And if the answer is nothing, and God simply says, My grace is sufficient for you, I’m open to that too.
Do you feel tired, burdened, spiritually dry? If so, how do you reconnect with God? If not, I’d love to hear some tips on how you keep your spiritual well filled.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
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Image by Lumina Obscura from Pixabay